Personal growth🌴 Uncategorized

Adulting -The struggle; Some lesson I learned.

I remember when I was younger I put on my mum’s heels and her lipstick because I just wanted to grow up. I wanted to experience what it felt like to be able to make my own decisions, put on makeup, dress up and even be able to eat more than one meat in my food, lol… I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who did that👀.

We just want to grow up so fast and experience what it feels like to be an adult. Well, the struggles and challenges weren’t what I anticipated. I wanted to grow up but not to struggle or face challenges but these things are also part of adulthood so they cannot be neglected.

I’ll share some challenges that I experienced living as an adult

1. Making tough decisions even when it hurts:

Making tough decisions can feel like a self-inflicted wound. When we get to these crossroads, it can be very tempting to take the easy way out and procrastinate but that shouldn’t be the case. When making decisions, do not just have the present moment in mind but also think about how this will impact the near future.

Life is full of tough decisions, and nothing makes them easy. But the worst ones are really your personal koans, and tormenting ambivalence is just the sense of satori rising. Try, trust, try, and trust again, and eventually you'll feel your mind change its focus to a new level of understanding.

Martha Beck

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2. Being able to let go of things to improve yourself and also make room for better things:

These past few weeks I’ve been complaining to my friends about how I have money and use it almost immediately to pay for something in school or something directed towards my growth or self-improvement.

One thing I have understood is that to grow and make progress that you will appreciate and be proud of, it requires you to spend or lose something. So don’t be scared of investing in yourself, in businesses, or other things that will yield profit either now or in the future.

3. Being real and honest with yourself:

Being real and being honest with yourself are essential factors for life. They help you sieve out things that are not important i.e the chaffs. They help you go for relevant things.

Self-discovery is an ongoing process. It requires you to be aware of your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. When you are honest with yourself, it’s easier to figure out your preferences.

4. Working on improving yourself every day:

To improve yourself, you have to make your life your topmost priority. Self-improvement helps enhance strengths, improve mental health, build self-esteem, boost confidence, lower stress levels, increase creativity, and even heal relationships.

To improve yourself, here are some activities you can do

  • Read books,
  • Try something new,
  • Pray and mediate,
  • Try waking up early,
  • Positive self-talk,
  • Practice being kind to people,
  • Eat well….very well,
  • Drink enough water,
  • Take fruits and vegetables,
  • Get enough sleep,
  • Exercise.

5. Understanding that your approach to life is very important:

The state of mind matters significantly as an adult. It dictates where you will end up in a year and twenty years time. So ensure that people or problems, anything at all, doesn’t mess with your mind. Keep it safe from evil predators(aka bad belle pipo)

6. Understanding that we all struggle sometimes:

Regardless of how planned out or organized you think your life is, there will be a time when you don’t know what to do and will feel out of control, times when you are confused about the next step to take, times when things don’t turn out the way they should. Sometimes, you will feel broken. Yeah, it’s going to hurt sometimes and you will cry or feel like crying but understand that we have all felt this way at some point. 

Most times the hardest part is when you are closest to a breakthrough. 

Try not to give up!!!

7. Know your values and stick to them:

Don’t let society push you into being who you are not. Do right and live right. I believe it’s easier to be good than to be bad. So, stay through to yourself and your calling and things will fall into place with time.

8. Choosing the right relationships:

As adulthood begins to set in, we get to that point where you begin to cut off from friends. Most times not intentionally, maybe because your goals, lifestyle or ways of life aren’t aligning.

Research has shown that the rational part of the brain isn’t fully developed and won’t be until about age 25.

In fact, recent research has also found that adult brain and teenage brain work differently. Adults think with the prefrontal cortex, the brain’s rational part. This is the part of the brain that responds to situations with good judgment and an awareness of long-term consequences. Teens process information with the amygdala. This is the emotional part. Please clap for me! I know book…lol. Just kidding.

When most people become adults, they are more purpose-driven and goal-oriented, trying to figure things out and get results.

Whatever decision you make will affect your life and people are just there to support and cheer you on.