Personal growth­čî┤

Setting Healthy Boundaries

tennis court, tennis, yellow
fashion, style, designer

phone ring

Joyce: Hello Mary, I have an important event tomorrow, would you help me cover my shift at work?

Mary: Ok, I will

Joyce: Thank you

Knock on the door

Mary: Who is it?

Chelsea: Hi Mary, it’s me, Chelsea, would you help me babysit Anthony, I have a very important deadline to meet.

Mary: I’m sorry Chelsea but I need to rest I have a very busy day tomorrow

Joyce: Please?

Mary: Okay, I will just for today

Chelsea: Thanks, you are a darling

I remember when I could hardly say “no” to anyone’s request simply because I just wanted everyone to be happy. I wanted to please everyone until I realized that it was impossible. Nowadays, to maintain physical boundaries we put fences but how do we maintain other forms of boundaries and take control of our lives.

Generally, boundaries help define where you end and someone else begins. It comes from understanding your self-worth, getting to love yourself, finding something unique and special about you and creating a balance between yourself and those around you. It gives you the freedom to make choices and take control of your time and energy and investing it in the best possible way. It is usually created based on life experiences and different personalities.

In other for any relationship to be effective and beneficial, boundaries have to be set. when I say boundaries, do not see it as something strict and I don’t mean social distancing either, lolz. Believe it or not, we all have boundaries we have set both consciously and unconsciously. Boundaries are not just physical (space) but there are also emotional (feelings), spiritual (belief), psychological, and mental (opinions) boundaries

Before boundaries are set, you should

  • Know your limits:

You need to know who you are, what your limits are, what your values and beliefs are, what you can handle, and what makes you uncomfortable; which could be an instance or instances where your boundaries have been crossed not just physically but all round. Part of it lies in finding what your duty is and what it isn’t.

sign, limit, speed
  • Communicate your boundaries:┬á

While I might like to keep things private some people prefer publicity in scenarios like this, communicating boundaries is very important to grow a healthier relationship and helps with understanding. However, a defect in communication leaves the parties involved on different pages. I believe in talking about it when they arise. Not communicating your boundaries will only lead to hate and resentment.

people, man, woman
  • Stick to it:

It’s easy to say “I do not like books on my table” and tomorrow we see them there. Creating boundaries is very easy but ensure that your words align with your actions. so while creating boundaries its best if you start small. While communication is key, action they say speaks louder than words.

Inasmuch as we have good boundaries we also have boundaries that are unhealthy, they are usually created in other to be in control. A lot of people set boundaries in certain aspects of their lives and end up readjusting them to accommodate other people. Readjusting to accommodate others can be really essential in certain instances so far as you feel comfortable with it.

Always remember no one has the right to make you uncomfortable

(18) Comments

  1. Kanu chika says:

    Thanks dear juddy.i always learn from your write ups

    1. judith_kanu says:

      I’m happy you learned something

  2. Anonymous says:

    This is incredible,very inspiring. Keep it up.

    1. judith_kanu says:

      I’m glad it helped, thank you

  3. Kanu chika judith says:

    Wow, so nice ­čĹĆ­čĹĆ

    Keep it up

    1. judith_kanu says:

      thankyou so much

  4. Pst David KanuKingsley says:

    This is an eye opener
    It’s good to be helpful to others,. be your brothers keepers, but their must be levels@limits.

    1. judith_kanu says:

      very true; thanks for reading.

  5. Dominica says:

    Educative and well constructed­čĹî

    1. judith_kanu says:

      Thanks Dear­čĄŚ

  6. Kingr8man says:

    Very inspiring n well articulated. Bravo!

    1. judith_kanu says:

      thanks a lot
      and thanks for reading

  7. Kanu Uche says:

    This is beautiful…some insight

    1. judith_kanu says:


  8. Betty says:

    This is so insightful!

    1. judith_kanu says:

      Thanks Dear

  9. Chibella says:

    Inspiring….keep it up

    1. judith_kanu says:

      Thanks Chi

Comments are closed.